Reformed Churchmen

We are Confessional Calvinists and a Prayer Book Church-people. In 2012, we remembered the 350th anniversary of the 1662 Book of Common Prayer; also, we remembered the 450th anniversary of John Jewel's sober, scholarly, and Reformed "An Apology of the Church of England." In 2013, we remembered the publication of the "Heidelberg Catechism" and the influence of Reformed theologians in England, including Heinrich Bullinger's Decades. For 2014: Tyndale's NT translation. For 2015, John Roger, Rowland Taylor and Bishop John Hooper's martyrdom, burned at the stakes. Books of the month. December 2014: Alan Jacob's "Book of Common Prayer" at: http://www.amazon.com/Book-Common-Prayer-Biography-Religious/dp/0691154813/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417814005&sr=8-1&keywords=jacobs+book+of+common+prayer. January 2015: A.F. Pollard's "Thomas Cranmer and the English Reformation: 1489-1556" at: http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Cranmer-English-Reformation-1489-1556/dp/1592448658/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420055574&sr=8-1&keywords=A.F.+Pollard+Cranmer. February 2015: Jaspar Ridley's "Thomas Cranmer" at: http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Cranmer-Jasper-Ridley/dp/0198212879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422892154&sr=8-1&keywords=jasper+ridley+cranmer&pebp=1422892151110&peasin=198212879

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

"Benny Da' Big Thinker"


Interview with “Benny Da' Big Thinker”
Benny:  "Hi, my name is Benny the Big Thinker."
RA:  “Hello Benny, tell us, where do you attend church?”
Benny:  “I attend the local Baptacostalist church.  Half Pentecostal and half Baptist.  They got real cool music, Dude.  I can emote, stomp my feet, raise my hands, put my head back, and breathe without thinking.  45 minutes of da’ rock, roll, swing and swoon. When I get to that high, `I’m Da’ Big Thinka’ fellow Dudes and Dudettes.  We all get worked up to mindlessness...like that big word, Dude? I can leave my brains at the door when I enter, never use my mind during the service,  and never pick my brains up when I leave.  It’s real cool, man.  It's so user-friendly that I'm tellin' my fellow Dudes about it."
RA:  “Well, OK, we have your general church views.  What books are you reading?
Benny:  “Read books?  Are you for real? Huh…well, I don't read no books, no suh!  My Momma and Daddy didn’t need em’ and I don’t need none neither."
RA:  “Well, after church on Sundays, what do you do?”
Benny:  “Dude, I play my action-video games all day long.  Man, it’s far out.  I’m 30 years old and live with Mama and Papa.”
RA:   “You live with Mama and Papa, have the whole week off, and you don’t read any books?
Benny:  “Heck no, man, stop downin’ me with this book-stuff.  Are you for real?”
RA:  “”Benny, are you aware that 50% of America hasn’t read a single book in the last year?
Benny:  “See, Dude, ain’t that cool?  I belong to the top 50% in America.  I'm leadin' a movement!  What happened to the other 50%?  Those losers?”
RA:  “To answer your question, 25% read `one to four' books last year and the remaining 25% read `more than four books.'"
Benny: “Well,  I don’t belong to those two groups…the 25 percenters!  I belong to the top 50% that ain’t read no books last year." 
RA:  “Let’s get this right.  You are proud of "not" reading a single book last year?”
Benny:  “That’s why they call me `Benny Da’ Big Thinker!’  I got a big brain and got me some good ideas, like not reading. I’m Da’ Man, Dudes and Dudettes.”
RA:   “Well, OK Benny, nice chatting.  We took a picture and will leave it for you.”
Benny:  “Cool, man, haha!  That’s me alright, playing a video game.  But hey, man, is my head really that small?  I'll tell ya though, alot goes on in the three inches between my ears.  C’ya, Reformation Anglican." 

RA:  "We hereby conclude this interview, Benny, for your sake and for our readers.  We recommend this audit to our august Book of Common Prayer.  Here's the change:  `Pastor: Luni omnes sunt Congregational response: Et illiterati.'" 

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